Beginnings

This is an account of me (f, 27) moving in with a man (28) and us living together.

The story begins in March 2008 when I finally got it together and told this guy I’d been hanging out with at the local watering hole that I really fancied him. Then we went out a couple of times to determine what exactly it was that we were getting ourselves into (“So are we aiming for a relationship or is this just to pass the time?”) and after about the third or fourth time that I slept over at his place I just kept on sleeping there. I know! Radical move, right? Not really. Although most people and relevant literature on the topic would advise you not to crowd him and to give him enough space and to respect that space, I decided to just do what I wanted to do. And that was to be where he was (except at work, though that was not for lack of wanting).

At the same time, however, I kept my apartment. Just in case. And week after week I reminded him, that if I ever did get on his nerves or if he ever wanted to have his apartment to himself for a while, all he’d have to do was tell me, and I’d go back to my place for a day or two. And you know what? He did want his place to himself for a while. Mostly just for a couple of hours. Which was easy. I’d go out with friends and he’d stay in and play guitar, code, or surf the web. All it took was a couple of hours and he’d miss me again.

After a few months he said he wanted me to move in with him. Which took me by surprise. Why would he want me to move in with him if he had all the benefits of me living with him plus the bonus of me being able to sleep elsewhere? Also: we had only been going out for about three months. This was getting really serious real quick. So I proposed that we first go on vacation together before moving in together. Just as a litmus test. Long story short: in late August we went on an 18-day vacation to visit some relatives and friends of mine. We had a fight (our first fight) and we got over it. And when we got back we re-evaluated our relationship; he said he still wanted me to move in with him and I agreed to do so. This was in mid-September.