I did not sneak into his life

The situation was as follows:
In my apartment: no food, an empty bed, no more underpants.
In his apartment: a full fridge, somebody to cuddle with, all my underpants.

We get up together, brush teeth together, spend the day apart, meet up at his place (I got a key after just two weeks), he makes me dinner or we go out, we talk and watch movies together, we go to bed and talk some more, and finally, we fall asleep together.

Now, before I am accused of sneaking my way into some unsuspecting man’s life and apartment, I want to make one thing perfectly clear: I always behaved as if I was visiting. An extended visit, agreed. Nevertheless I made sure not to interfere with his life in his cave. So when he left the toilet seat up I didn’t say anything; I did my laundry at home; and all the stuff I had at his place could have been packed within 5 minutes or less. Also: I didn’t do extensive cleaning. Once in a while I’d remove the long dark hairs that were obviously mine (he’s blond) from the bathroom floor. I’d do the dishes. I’d water plants. You know, nothing big. No vacuuming, no dusting, not even sweeping.

And then the following took place on day in June
He and She are brushing teeth one morning.
She (more to herself): Oh man! I need to do some laundry. I’ve run out of clean socks.
He: Why didn’t you just put them to wash?
She: Because I haven’t been home in a while.
He: What do you mean you haven’t been home in a while? Why do you need to go home to wash socks?
She: Well, because I prefer my socks machine washed… they just feel cleaner… maybe I’m weird and it’s all just psychological, but that’s just the way I feel about washing socks.
He: Well, why do you go to your place to do your laundry? I have a machine right here.
She: Because I didn’t want to just go ahead and use it and I’ve got a machine at home and it seemed kinda imposing to just use your machine and, well, I’d never really thought about it… I just felt it might be kinda rude to just use your machine…
He: You’re funny! Use my machine. Please.
She: Really? Ok. Are you sure? I mean it’s no big deal.
He: Yes. I’m sure. Use this machine. Here are the instructions. If there’s room you can do some of my socks as well.

Reader, I did my laundry at his place with his machine and his detergent. And of course he profited from the fact that I did his laundry with mine. But I profited from the fact that I didn’t have to drive to my apartment and start a load, wait for it to finish and then hang it up to dry before coming back to the place I wanted to be.
So you see: I was invited to use the washing machine as if it were my own. And to go through his laundry and to throw out those socks that had ceased to fully cover a foot.

A few weeks later we were at the pub and a female friend of ours complained that her boyfriend sometimes forgot that he wasn’t supposed to urinate standing up. And He asked her why the poor boyfriend had to pee sitting down. And she said that it was for hygienic reasons. And He was shocked: there were fellow men out there having to sit down to urinate. And He turned to me and asked whether, in time, he too would be forced to sit while urinating. And I answered that I didn’t care either way as long as he remembered to put down the toilet seat. And a male acquaintance interjected by incredulously asking us if people seriously didn’t put the seat and cover down each time. And so we had the toilet seat discussion. Which was quick and painless.

He: You want me to put the toilet seat down after I’ve put it up?
She: Yes. Because you need it up and down. I just need it down.
He: But Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?
She: Because it’s your apartment; I’m just staying over.
He: But I want you to tell me these things if they bother you.
She: Well, now you know. Also your toilet isn’t really clean.
He: It is kinda disgusting. I’ll clean it tomorrow. And I’ll try to remember to put the toilet seat down. But I can’t promise that I’ll be able to remember every time.

And thus concludes the short toilet seat discussion.
I never knew it could be this easy. And all this before I had agreed to move in with him.